When marital bliss isn17t coming your way, how do you try to get things back on track? By getting revenge on your estranged husband through the art of pretending to be a 17-year-old on Facebook. Police reports obtained by The Smoking Gun tell the story of 9-year-old Angela Voelkert and her fairly evil plan to lure her then-husband David.

Voelkert created a Facebook profile for a 17-year-old named Jessica Studebaker, then encouraged a friend to email her husband from the account out of fear David might recognize her writing style.

David told the fake teen that he had planned to sell his business and move away with his kids. He also told Studebaker1 that he had installed a GPS device in his wife17s van to track her movements at all times.

He then revealed to Studebaker1 that he was “going to find someone to take care of her and now it will be easier because I know where she is at all times.1

Mr. Voelkert then cleverly said that Studebaker1 should find a gang banger1 at her school to put a cap in [Angela's] ass for $1,.1

David is being held in an Indiana jail where17s awaiting a detention hearing.

I don17t know the stupidest part of the story: That the husband Voelkert would think some nubile teenage girl would legitimately want to befriend a dodgy older man on Facebook, that he17d spend time opening up his life to her, or that he17d spend time opening up his life to her WITHOUT trying to have sex with her. I mean that had to be the plan on the wife17s part, right? Lure him in with some sexy teen, use it in the divorce proceedings. I imagine even she was taken aback by the fact that he wasn17t trying to drop off a batch on the young fake lass and was instead beating off to the idea of telling her about hoping to kill his wife.

Everybody involved deserves to be in jail for this. Even the girl whose photo it is that Angela used for the fake profile. She17s got to learn that you can17t be going around all teenage and sexy without there being serious repercussions. And the only way she17ll learn is being forced to reenact scenes from Chained Heat1.

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