I like to use this pulpit here to teach would-be criminals things not to do. Today we learned that you shouldn’t tattoo your crime on your body and now we learn that pretending to be asleep also doesn’t work.

Baby Smurf may look innocent, but the fearful eyes on that bear tell a different story.

Akron, Ohio police say a 17-year-old robbed a man on the street for his cigarettes.

The victim told cops that he saw the robber head into a nearby house after the robbery was committed.

When police arrived to investigate, they found the 17-year-old in his bedroom in the upstairs section of the home, pretending to be asleep.

Cops recovered the cigarettes and took the teen’s gun. He’s now been charged with aggravated robbery and awaiting trial.

Clearly the problem here was that you probably shouldn’t commit a robbery and then disappear into your own house. That’s just poor planning. Then again, this is a kid who could probably just walk into any store and buy cigarettes himself for ten dollars. It’s not exactly “Ocean’s Eleven” here.

Also, this sounds like the worst crime lair ever. I’d like to see a bigger climax from my criminals being apprehended then police coming in and arresting a teenager under his Panic at the Disco postures while he does a cartoonish fake snore. The only joy here is that he probably cried and yelled, “Mommyyyyyyy” while he was cuffed and taken out. Pussy.

17 Year Old Accused of Armed Robbery Overnight in Akron [Y100 via Fark]

Like this article? Then you’ll love what we’re doing next with Guyism. Sign up to be one of the first in line for an invite to the beta launch of the Guyism Rebrand. Not only will you be the first to get to see the future of men’s media, you’ll also get entered to win a $500 Amazon gift card.

Similar Posts:

Share